Asked to comment on the trade of Alex Rodriguez to the New York Yankees, Derek Jeter had this to say:

As a man who has devoted his whole life to the pursuit of balls, I must say that there's nothing wrong or immoral about wanting to be in a committed relationship with the person you love, no matter the gender. We only ask that those rights extended to straight couples be available to us as well. People worry about the impact on society, well, I don't see how bringing about justice for people in loving, committed relationships can do anything but good.

Superelectric attempted to solicit George Steinbrenner's opinion for this blog, but he was too busy making true the blood libel to comment.