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Our circle jerk tightens nooselike around the object of our lust, the sourpussed, smushy-faced, rotten little "Chinese Bulldog," while we humans begin a rhythmic chant of "woof, woof" as if we were audience members during a spirited taping of The Late Show With Arsenio Hall.
...
"As long as living creatures are being degraded somewhere, I'll have a purpose in life."

Truer words were never written by Jim Goad.