Oh my god does Once Upon a Time in Mexico suck ass. The action is horribly confused and confusing. Sequences blur, devoid of context. Several gunfights consist of a lone gunman standing as out in the open as possible, against an army of hidden assassins which he promptly defeats through his deft strategy of walking forward, slowly, into oncoming fire with his arms spread wide and pouting effeminately. One of the gunfights turns into a motocross rally over cactuses. The plot, epic in scope and hyperactive in execution, offers little in the way of coherent storytelling or compelling characters. Instead, we have jokey sketches of characters with one sentence motivations. Each actor does well, with the possible exceptions of Cheech "I stabbed Chong in the fucking back" Marin, Enrique Iglesias, and the oddly girlish Antonio Banderas. Selma Hayek is fucking awesome, despite being relegated to flashbacks.
The film is supposedly RR's homage to Sergio Leone. It does feature several plot threads of characters with clear stories and motivations, but lacks all the subtlety, grace, and careful pacing. The story also and inexplicably changes from a tale of delayed revenge to one of Mexican pride. There are perhaps two to three (potentially quite interesting) movies uncomfortably crammed in here and presented with as brashly and annoyingly as possible. The advantage claimed to shooting on video is its speed in filming and editing, requiring little of the elaborate planning necessary for filming analog. Having seen the results, I think this is time that ought to be spent.
While on the western tip, if you haven't picked up Air/Baricco's City Reading, do so immediately. It's really good. Air are the real deal. You really do have to pay attention to the record. I recommend taking the time to listen to the disc while reading the English translation. I have Latin and French under my belt, and from what I can tell, the translation is pretty much line by line. If you have any Romance language experience, you should be able to follow the Italian pretty closely. Once you've done this, you'll have the basic stories in your head and can listen again and again, letting your hazy memories of the tales mix with the gorgeous soundtrack and Baricco's tasty reading. I've listened to this disc over and over.
Pitchfork reviewed it and said, basically, "I don't know no italian, this is a fucking book on tape. fukit." What an ass. There's also something known as talking blues, you fucking ignorant jackass. Oh, but there's plenty of time to mention Looper in one of indie music's most annoying tradition - the fucking name drop. If one spent more time in concentration and thought and less in yanking your indie rock trivia cock, perhaps you could write something worth reading, you lazy cunt.
Just like fucking george bush, "ooo-I'm so proud that I'm stupid and lazy!" Fucking dickmonkey.
Thank you, I'm finished venting now.
Posted by mattb at September 14, 2003 02:24 AM