put your luggage

in the corner

near the kitchen sink surfactants

Finger nail full of sulpher, indeed.
Why don't you just drop in sometime and help with the Sunday soup?
We build by the bucket full here so you'll have to get a bigger scoop.
Thai glass noodles and titanium meatballs to make sure you don't get too long in the teeth. Nothing worse than a toothy grin, they say.
So we'll just color your gums with charcoal to make them 10 shades darker.

And if they turn red, we'll know it's scurvy from the pinprick wicking of blood up your corkscrew armhair.
"Arrgh!" you'll say as you ring a bell pepper's neck with both hands. Cered nails coated with seeds.
And I'll reply, "Don't call me saucepot or I'll ladle you to death."